The recent changes in America and the inevitable darkness that will continue to come, just made parenting ten times more difficult. Wait, what am I saying, parenting has been difficult since the beginning of time. I have been a parent for 4 1/2 years, therefore I have a lot of learning and figuring out to do. I think Jesse and I figure things out as we go, and realize each child is different and needs a slightly different approach. Before my first pregnancy, I was okay with the idea of not having children. When God decided it was time, He kept dropping thoughts of a special baby into my dreams. The moment we found out I was pregnant we were filled with laughter, joy and fear. Growing a baby was more enjoyable than I could have ever imagined.
To this day, I read a diverse list of parenting articles and books. I take tips from all to some degree, but I’ve never been one to place all my cards with one person’s suggested parenting advice. Eve did not have any of these extra things to read when she began her lone mothering journey. I do know the Holy Spirit is truly the best guide for parenting with love and wisdom.
I get the pleasure and sometimes hard job of being with our children day in and day out. I hear every little squabble, every cry; I see every dance party and hear every new song. I have to constantly practice creativity and stretch my imagination beyond it’s normal capability. Two under four must be entertained and regularly taken care of in some way. I’ve learned a lot about children simply from watching my own, but also those of family and friends.
When kids begin to act out more than parents desire or show signs of rebellion, it can generally be attributed to one major factor…the children are not being engaged. We can be in the room, even sitting amongst their toys, but that is not always enough. Every now and then they need a parent to grab a Barbie and act out a silly scenario with them in their doll house. Every now and then they need a parent to not just see them race their cars, but to participate; or to not just see them dance but to do a few passé releve's with them.
I am clearly no expert, but when they are acting out, I’d venture to say, 80% of the time they are unsure how to explain their need for parental engagement. Sometimes sitting in the room with them is enough. I have a few blessed days, rather minutes in a day, where my children interact with each other beautifully and I’m able to be busy with my own activities without much interruption or fuss. Other days I’m up and down constantly getting them out of messes, fussing with them over sharing toys, or trying to console one for no apparent reason. Those days are the days I have to slow down and engage more intently. Parenting is not for the selfish (and I am not implying that if you are not a parent that you are selfish). Parenting can be a real struggle for some, because it is a battle of personal will over what is more important. It demands you set your desire to the side, not to be ignored, but to be re-prioritized. Parenting requires time to slow down.
While we say all the time, that years fly by once you have children, ironically it makes parents take a step back and slow down…or at least it should do so. If you want to do it right, parenting cannot be rushed. You cannot constantly worry about the mess of toys that your feet daily dodge. You must sit down, pick up Princess Jasmine and make her dance. You must make Minnie sing, and Ken ride gallantly on his royal stallion. You must run across the play gym at the park like a scary monster. It may seem like time is wasting away, but those girls and boys are becoming confident, bright, engaging individuals because you were willing to slow down and engage.
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