Do you believe in Jesus?

That moment when your four year old speaks words of conviction all down your spine and you want to run to repentance. Once again, I’m shown I can learn from anyone, especially my own children. In the past five months our oldest daughter has expressed such incredible boldness in her faith, which I am certain comes from following in her daddy’s footsteps. I can’t help but think she really was born for such a time as this. 

She started by asking me questions why some people go to church on Sunday and some do not. She began saying we need to pray for them (the ones that were not at church, even though I explained people go to church on Fridays and Saturdays too). Then her question about everyone was, “do they believe in Jesus?” 

I chose those moments to encourage her to share Jesus with her friends. To my surprise she took my advice and asked all the kids in the gym childcare if they believed in Jesus. Only two said yes. Only two out of about fifteen. We were very proud of her efforts to share Jesus. Once her mission for the day was complete, she passed the torch on to her Daddy. She said, “Daddy, promise me you will tell someone about Jesus today.” 

Sharing the Gospel in any given scenario to anyone, for instance a Muslim or Jew, is the simplest and most gratifying thing for my husband. While I’ve always been what I’d consider a steadfast Christian, I’m not as fluent or at ease with sharing. 

I have a four year, like her daddy, that challenges me to be better. When we go through the drive-thru of Chick-fi-la she begs me to ask the girl (or guy) delivering food if she believes in Jesus. At Chick-fi-la it is safe, we’ve had great responses thus far. I’m not 100% sure what I’ll do when we meet a negative response. The other day we went through the drive-thru again. She asked me to ask the girl, but I got mixed up with remembering the sauces and checking the bag. My fiery four year old was not happy with my choice. I promised to ask her next time. 

As I type these words, I wonder what if there isn’t a next time and I missed an opportunity? I can’t help but think of all the missed opportunities I’ve had over the years when fear overcame me. My daughter is already fearless in her faith. She is pure and unscathed by doubts of this world. I can speak on stages and boldly proclaim a message for Christ. I can show my girls and friends how to study the Word of God. To be honest, in the day to day activities, I get nervous about sharing or “interrupting” someone’s day. I’m not always thinking about the eternity of all the people I interact with from Walmart cashiers, nurses, doctors, playground peers, servers, and so on. My four year old is concerned. There lies my conviction. 

On Friday she plans to ask the Little Mermaid if she believes in Jesus. I can’t wait to see what she says as she stays in character, because in our hours ALL the princesses believe in Jesus.

“Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you,” Matthew 28:19 

Job's Friends

Job had to get worn out hearing his friends suggest he had sinned. It probably felt like a knife cutting deep, when his own wife said to curse God and die (Job 2:9). He made it through his tests so valiantly. I wonder if God did close his ears to hearing all the negative, but evidently hearing the deception was part of the testing. Words can be so devastating especially when loosely spoken. 

When we look at Job’s friends we can: a.) see ourselves and how we unwisely respond to our closest friends, or b.) be the recipient of poor counsel from friends.  Many times we have friends and family exactly like Job’s friends, exhorting great efforts to fix and correct a bad situation. 

Eliphaz tried to speak for God to Job. He considered himself wise and able to fix Job’s circumstances (Job 4). Nothing that Eliphaz said to Job resonated in his spirit, because Job was intimately involved with God. Bildad’s explanation of Job’s hardship was hardly different than Eliphaz’s (Job 8). His friend Zophar suggested to put away sin and God would definitely change the situation (Job 11). Job’s friends wore him down. They filled his ears with false wisdom. Their tone was condescending and totally off base. 

The intentions of friends and family are not all bad, but their words may spew negativity over your life and circumstances. What God calls you to do, and the trials you must go through in order to meet that calling, are generally nothing like what someone on the outside deems best. When they suggests you have sinned in some area, your life is fruitless, you should try a different job, move somewhere else, make new friends, maybe marry someone different; their words are not necessarily God’s thoughts and definitely not His words. You must hold steadfast to the promises of God on your life, only you and God know clearly what He has spoken to you. The voices of others can cause confusion and confusion is not of God. Follow the discernment  of when there is any doubt, stay put and wait…even if waiting seems like a slow death. 

The real question becomes how do you ignore the words of others, especially the ones that cut deep and cause paralytic behavior. How do you hear the words but not take in the words? How do you remain cordial, yet knowing what you know, even if it makes absolutely no sense to those around you? How do you carry on with full confidence in what God has spoken to you? How do you move forward when nothing goes right?

The Holy Spirit is the only answer to those questions. He gives us determination, the will to stand firm, and hope when all things seem hopeless. He is our guiding light, our strong tower and great refuge. The One who has our best interests in mind even through sickness, death, and immense humiliation. He is the One who see’s us through till the end, when all is restored and the mouthes of the doubters are closed. He is the One that blesses beyond our earthly comprehension.

In the end, Job did not ask God to curse his friends. The Lord rebuked his friends and Job prayed for his friends. Afterwards, the Lord restored the fortunes to Job. He was blessed in his latter years with sheep, camel, oxen, donkeys, but most importantly seven sons and three daughters. His life was full and he died an old man (Job 42). 

Friend, I have no clue why you have to experience trials. Personally, there are circumstances in my life I’ve had to face that I’m still uncertain of their reason. Nonetheless, God does not abandon His own. He may go silent for a short while, He may step back and allow you to make choices, but He is never too far away to call out His name. Stand firm, may the Holy Spirit close your ears to the noise, and shield your heart from distractions. God’s favor and blessings have unique timing. When they follow hardships they are all the more precious.    

That Job Moment

For a second I thought I was having a Job moment…then my eyes were opened. 

Have you ever felt like you were having a Job moment? Season? Year? Life? The instant when nothing seems to go right for all your good efforts. As soon as you get one foot going in the right direction something comes out of nowhere to set you back another month. Right when you utter the words, “God, I can’t take it anymore,” another freight truck comes barreling through to destroy your dying flame of hope. You break an ankle, lose a job, lose a family member, go bankrupt, get deathly sick, lose a home, become homeless, etc.; the conditions are endless. You cry out to God again (hopefully), for help in another trial…and to your surprise you can, indeed endure yet one more trial. 

In the midst of the trial, there is always someone facing a harder situation. For a second, I thought I was having a Job moment. It seems when I’m wallowing in my self-misery, God shows me someone who is really facing heartache. A friend lost their child unexpectedly. Another friend lost their home. A family member can’t carry babies full term. Okay God, I’m really not “going through it.” My eyes are opened. I’m led to repentance for my lack of faith, lack of trust…right when I thought I was getting the hang of faith and trust. 

Let’s look briefly at Job.  What was the purpose of his torment after all? I do not always attribute trials to the enemy. I believe we should be cautious in doing so, because we are human and have the free will to make our own choices, good or bad. We make mistakes that sometimes reduce the good fruit in our lives. Many of our trials are because of lack of wisdom. However, the Lord gives discernment in discovering when it is a full fledge attack from the enemy. This was the case with Job. Job recognized who his adversary was, and was able to focus his heart and mind on the “lifter of His head.” 

In Job 1:13-19, Satan takes all of Jobs property and his children. Still Job is able to proclaim, 

“‘…naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.’ In all this Job did no sin or charge God with wrong” Job 1:20-22 (ESV).

Satan did not stop with all of that, he also made Job experience terrible sickness and pain in his body. His wife suggested he curse God and die. His friends spoke further discouragement upon him (I’ll save his friends for another posts). He had every reason to harbor bitterness and distrust, as you reading this may be able to as well. 

Job’s ability to be humbled, striped of all self righteousness and still say, “For I know that my Redeemer lives,”  is simply amazing to me (Job 19:25). Personally, it convicts me. Maybe we face trials after trial because the enemy does not want God’s plans to succeed on the earth through our lives. Maybe the breakthrough is in our response to each tests. The enemy can take and take, but God is ultimately in control. God has the final word. God’s Word will always out stand the cowardliness of Satan. Why shrink in fear because of a coward? In your test, it is time to make a stand and call Satan out for the liar and thief that he is. Stop giving him so much glory and attention, but shout “I know my Redeemer lives and my life is in His hands.” 

How we respond during our trials determines our outcome and reward. Job did not curse his friends to death and judgement. Rather he prayed for them and God ultimately blessed him beyond the things he had before. He had seven sons and three of the most beautiful daughters of the land. He lived a full and blessed life. His trials marked him as an example that bad things do happen to good people. None of us are exempt from heartache and pain, but through it all we learn to not plainly hear God’s voice, but to see Him working good out of our messes (Job 42:5).

For a second I thought I was having a Job moment…then I realized I’m far from being as strong as Job. I don’t want to only quietly hear, I want to see. 

I bought my first Bible...

I bought my first Bible for my 31st birthday last week. Okay, not my first Bible ever, but the first Bible that I purchased for myself. Kind of crazy sounding, but I'm certain it will become my new favorite Bible. I've been using the same one for about thirteen years. The Bible before that I received on my 6th birthday. I have them all and it is quite hilarious to see some of the things I have written in my childhood Bible.

For a long time I tried to avoid writing in my Bible (the one I got for my 18th birthday). I kept journals through the years with countless pages of Bible studies I've done. I have a box of journals that on occasion I must pull out to remember what God spoke to me back then. I really love that Bible. It is the Women of Faith Study Bible, NIV.

Four years ago I decided to start writing in my Bible. It is marked with prayers for every member of my family. Philippians 4 is marked from top to bottom with prayer requests, some answered and some still unanswered. I must admit, once I decided to start marking things up, my prayer life shifted. I've always been one to write and rewrite scriptures. Marking in the Bible, adding tabs, and writing personal insights has created a more exciting and easier study and prayer life.

This month I've now added a new favorite Bible to the mix. I purchased a single column journaling Bible, the English Standard Version. I'm excited to begin a new phase as I continue on my personal relationship with Jesus. My note taking and marking should be more legible with lines. It is a Bible I'll hold onto forever. Each of my favorite Bibles are like looking at a piece me, for His Word is  like a secret treasure written upon my heart (Psalms 119:11).

How do you study the Word? Do you mark in your Bible or in a journal? I'd love to hear your study preference.

Stephen's Reflection

While studying Acts 6, the description of Stephen captured my attention. I’m always drawn into text with generous imagery of God portrayed in an earthly man or woman. When praise is given in scripture, you stop and reread what is stated. I’m roused to question, what makes this man so different? What did he do to gain such affectionate and honorable descriptive words? 

I’ve prayed for so many years to reflect the image of Christ. I long to be so filled with the Holy Spirit that my countenance is like none other. Yet, after reading these beautiful words about Stephen, I know I’m far from receiving such praise. I miss the mark on many occasions. However, I think, rather than noting all shortcomings, I’ll make peace in knowing my hearts desire to be like Stephen…like Jesus. 

The verses that describe Stephen cannot go un-noted: 

“…a man full of faith of the Holy Spirit,” (vs.5, NIV).

“…a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people,” (vs. 8 NIV).

No one could argue, “…his wisdom or the Spirit from whom he spoke,” (vs 10, NIV).

“…his face was like the face of an angel,”  (vs. 15, NIV). 

Over the years I’ve encountered a number of individuals who would suggests little need of the Holy Spirit. Some are even fearful to mention him among friends or at church. But, in Stephen we see  a short story displaying the power of the one and only, Holy Spirit. You cannot separate God the Father, from God the Son, nor God the Holy Spirit. When you seek the Father, you speak to the Son, when you encounter the Son, you are filled with power of the Holy Spirit. The same Holy Spirit that breathed life into Adam, parted the Red Sea, healed the blind man, and rose Jesus from the tomb. 

Stephen was a man full of faith, full of grace, full of power, full wisdom, full of anointing that shined upon his countenance. He was a refection of the one he loved. Who do you love, or what do you love? What are you reflecting?  May our image be a pure reflection of His grace and love. 

New things happening with Wife.Mom.Pastor

The memory of the first time God called me and set His promise in my heart is as vivid as though it happened yesterday. I was an insecure thirteen year old girl strongly desiring to know my God and to hear His voice. At church camp He wooed me into His presence and answered my longing to know Him more deeply than ever before. In His presence He clothed me in His armor and shared His promises over my life. I was called to be a missionary, not to a foreign land, but to America. I was called to stir Christians to not simply believe, but to live lives of purity and integrity.

Being in ministry in America has been a more difficult task than I imagined. I assumed going to a Christian college would put me on the perfect path to fulfilling all my God-birthed dreams. I assumed that by my 30th birthday I would have a list of amazing achievements, all so very awe-inspiring. I do have achievements, not all very awe-inspiriting. Many leave me wondering, why God did you call me to do this? 

Expectations fall flat in many cases, yet God does not change. His call has not changed. My own insecurities have been like a roller coaster with many twists and turns. There have been seasons of great confidence where I spoke and moved confidently in the skin God gave me. Other seasons I preferred to shrink back and stay behind closed doors. 

So hear I am, confessing upon a screen that others will read. Yes, I’m insecure in so many areas—as a wife, as a mom, as a pastor, as a singer and worship leader, as a speaker. His calling, however, has won the battle. You cannot turn down something that is engraved upon your heart at the age of thirteen. 

I invite you to follow my blog that I plan to update weekly. A new area of ministry will be monthly podcasts. God has been stirring something so deep in my heart that will do me no justice if I keep it all to myself. I am simply a messenger and His word will come through blogpost, podcast, speaking engagements, and music. Thank you in advance for reading and listening. I pray His word challenges you to go deeper, to fight your own insecurities, and to be fully set free as the women and men of God He destined you to be.

Parental Engagement

The recent changes in America and the inevitable darkness that will continue to come, just made parenting ten times more difficult. Wait, what am I saying, parenting has been difficult since the beginning of time. I have been a parent for 4 1/2 years, therefore I have a lot of learning and figuring out to do. I think Jesse and I figure things out as we go, and realize each child is different and needs a slightly different approach. Before my first pregnancy, I was okay with the idea of not having children. When God decided it was time, He kept dropping thoughts of a special baby into my dreams. The moment we found out I was pregnant we were filled with laughter, joy and fear. Growing a baby was more enjoyable than I could have ever imagined. 

To this day, I read a diverse list of parenting articles and books. I take tips from all to some degree, but I’ve never been one to place all my cards with one person’s suggested parenting advice. Eve did not have any of these extra things to read when she began her lone mothering journey. I do know the Holy Spirit is truly the best guide for parenting with love and wisdom.

I get the pleasure and sometimes hard job of being with our children day in and day out. I hear every little squabble, every cry; I see every dance party and hear every new song. I have to constantly practice creativity and stretch my imagination beyond it’s normal capability. Two under four must be entertained and regularly taken care of in some way. I’ve learned a lot about children simply from watching my own, but also those of family and friends. 

When kids begin to act out more than parents desire or show signs of rebellion, it can generally be attributed to one major factor…the children are not being engaged. We can be in the room, even sitting amongst their toys, but that is not always enough. Every now and then they need a parent to grab a Barbie and act out a silly scenario with them in their doll house. Every now and then they need a parent to not just see them race their cars, but to participate; or to not just see them dance but to do a few passé releve's with them.

I am clearly no expert, but when they are acting out, I’d venture to say, 80% of the time they are unsure how to explain their need for parental engagement. Sometimes sitting in the room with them is enough. I have a few blessed days, rather minutes in a day, where my children interact with each other beautifully and I’m able to be busy with my own activities without much interruption or fuss. Other days I’m up and down constantly getting them out of messes, fussing with them over sharing toys,  or trying to console one for no apparent reason. Those days are the days I have to slow down and engage more intently. Parenting is not for the selfish (and I am not implying that if you are not a parent that you are selfish). Parenting can be a real struggle for some, because it is a battle of personal will over what is more important. It demands you set your desire to the side, not to be ignored, but to be re-prioritized. Parenting requires time to slow down. 

While we say all the time, that years fly by once you have children, ironically it makes parents take a step back and slow down…or at least it should do so. If you want to do it right, parenting cannot be rushed. You cannot constantly worry about the mess of toys that your feet daily dodge. You must sit down, pick up Princess Jasmine and make her dance. You must make Minnie sing, and Ken ride gallantly on his royal stallion. You must run across the play gym at the park like a scary monster. It may seem like time is wasting away, but those girls and boys are becoming confident, bright, engaging individuals because you were willing to slow down and engage.