That Job Moment

For a second I thought I was having a Job moment…then my eyes were opened. 

Have you ever felt like you were having a Job moment? Season? Year? Life? The instant when nothing seems to go right for all your good efforts. As soon as you get one foot going in the right direction something comes out of nowhere to set you back another month. Right when you utter the words, “God, I can’t take it anymore,” another freight truck comes barreling through to destroy your dying flame of hope. You break an ankle, lose a job, lose a family member, go bankrupt, get deathly sick, lose a home, become homeless, etc.; the conditions are endless. You cry out to God again (hopefully), for help in another trial…and to your surprise you can, indeed endure yet one more trial. 

In the midst of the trial, there is always someone facing a harder situation. For a second, I thought I was having a Job moment. It seems when I’m wallowing in my self-misery, God shows me someone who is really facing heartache. A friend lost their child unexpectedly. Another friend lost their home. A family member can’t carry babies full term. Okay God, I’m really not “going through it.” My eyes are opened. I’m led to repentance for my lack of faith, lack of trust…right when I thought I was getting the hang of faith and trust. 

Let’s look briefly at Job.  What was the purpose of his torment after all? I do not always attribute trials to the enemy. I believe we should be cautious in doing so, because we are human and have the free will to make our own choices, good or bad. We make mistakes that sometimes reduce the good fruit in our lives. Many of our trials are because of lack of wisdom. However, the Lord gives discernment in discovering when it is a full fledge attack from the enemy. This was the case with Job. Job recognized who his adversary was, and was able to focus his heart and mind on the “lifter of His head.” 

In Job 1:13-19, Satan takes all of Jobs property and his children. Still Job is able to proclaim, 

“‘…naked I came from my mother’s womb and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.’ In all this Job did no sin or charge God with wrong” Job 1:20-22 (ESV).

Satan did not stop with all of that, he also made Job experience terrible sickness and pain in his body. His wife suggested he curse God and die. His friends spoke further discouragement upon him (I’ll save his friends for another posts). He had every reason to harbor bitterness and distrust, as you reading this may be able to as well. 

Job’s ability to be humbled, striped of all self righteousness and still say, “For I know that my Redeemer lives,”  is simply amazing to me (Job 19:25). Personally, it convicts me. Maybe we face trials after trial because the enemy does not want God’s plans to succeed on the earth through our lives. Maybe the breakthrough is in our response to each tests. The enemy can take and take, but God is ultimately in control. God has the final word. God’s Word will always out stand the cowardliness of Satan. Why shrink in fear because of a coward? In your test, it is time to make a stand and call Satan out for the liar and thief that he is. Stop giving him so much glory and attention, but shout “I know my Redeemer lives and my life is in His hands.” 

How we respond during our trials determines our outcome and reward. Job did not curse his friends to death and judgement. Rather he prayed for them and God ultimately blessed him beyond the things he had before. He had seven sons and three of the most beautiful daughters of the land. He lived a full and blessed life. His trials marked him as an example that bad things do happen to good people. None of us are exempt from heartache and pain, but through it all we learn to not plainly hear God’s voice, but to see Him working good out of our messes (Job 42:5).

For a second I thought I was having a Job moment…then I realized I’m far from being as strong as Job. I don’t want to only quietly hear, I want to see. 

I bought my first Bible...

I bought my first Bible for my 31st birthday last week. Okay, not my first Bible ever, but the first Bible that I purchased for myself. Kind of crazy sounding, but I'm certain it will become my new favorite Bible. I've been using the same one for about thirteen years. The Bible before that I received on my 6th birthday. I have them all and it is quite hilarious to see some of the things I have written in my childhood Bible.

For a long time I tried to avoid writing in my Bible (the one I got for my 18th birthday). I kept journals through the years with countless pages of Bible studies I've done. I have a box of journals that on occasion I must pull out to remember what God spoke to me back then. I really love that Bible. It is the Women of Faith Study Bible, NIV.

Four years ago I decided to start writing in my Bible. It is marked with prayers for every member of my family. Philippians 4 is marked from top to bottom with prayer requests, some answered and some still unanswered. I must admit, once I decided to start marking things up, my prayer life shifted. I've always been one to write and rewrite scriptures. Marking in the Bible, adding tabs, and writing personal insights has created a more exciting and easier study and prayer life.

This month I've now added a new favorite Bible to the mix. I purchased a single column journaling Bible, the English Standard Version. I'm excited to begin a new phase as I continue on my personal relationship with Jesus. My note taking and marking should be more legible with lines. It is a Bible I'll hold onto forever. Each of my favorite Bibles are like looking at a piece me, for His Word is  like a secret treasure written upon my heart (Psalms 119:11).

How do you study the Word? Do you mark in your Bible or in a journal? I'd love to hear your study preference.

Stephen's Reflection

While studying Acts 6, the description of Stephen captured my attention. I’m always drawn into text with generous imagery of God portrayed in an earthly man or woman. When praise is given in scripture, you stop and reread what is stated. I’m roused to question, what makes this man so different? What did he do to gain such affectionate and honorable descriptive words? 

I’ve prayed for so many years to reflect the image of Christ. I long to be so filled with the Holy Spirit that my countenance is like none other. Yet, after reading these beautiful words about Stephen, I know I’m far from receiving such praise. I miss the mark on many occasions. However, I think, rather than noting all shortcomings, I’ll make peace in knowing my hearts desire to be like Stephen…like Jesus. 

The verses that describe Stephen cannot go un-noted: 

“…a man full of faith of the Holy Spirit,” (vs.5, NIV).

“…a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs among the people,” (vs. 8 NIV).

No one could argue, “…his wisdom or the Spirit from whom he spoke,” (vs 10, NIV).

“…his face was like the face of an angel,”  (vs. 15, NIV). 

Over the years I’ve encountered a number of individuals who would suggests little need of the Holy Spirit. Some are even fearful to mention him among friends or at church. But, in Stephen we see  a short story displaying the power of the one and only, Holy Spirit. You cannot separate God the Father, from God the Son, nor God the Holy Spirit. When you seek the Father, you speak to the Son, when you encounter the Son, you are filled with power of the Holy Spirit. The same Holy Spirit that breathed life into Adam, parted the Red Sea, healed the blind man, and rose Jesus from the tomb. 

Stephen was a man full of faith, full of grace, full of power, full wisdom, full of anointing that shined upon his countenance. He was a refection of the one he loved. Who do you love, or what do you love? What are you reflecting?  May our image be a pure reflection of His grace and love. 

New things happening with Wife.Mom.Pastor

The memory of the first time God called me and set His promise in my heart is as vivid as though it happened yesterday. I was an insecure thirteen year old girl strongly desiring to know my God and to hear His voice. At church camp He wooed me into His presence and answered my longing to know Him more deeply than ever before. In His presence He clothed me in His armor and shared His promises over my life. I was called to be a missionary, not to a foreign land, but to America. I was called to stir Christians to not simply believe, but to live lives of purity and integrity.

Being in ministry in America has been a more difficult task than I imagined. I assumed going to a Christian college would put me on the perfect path to fulfilling all my God-birthed dreams. I assumed that by my 30th birthday I would have a list of amazing achievements, all so very awe-inspiring. I do have achievements, not all very awe-inspiriting. Many leave me wondering, why God did you call me to do this? 

Expectations fall flat in many cases, yet God does not change. His call has not changed. My own insecurities have been like a roller coaster with many twists and turns. There have been seasons of great confidence where I spoke and moved confidently in the skin God gave me. Other seasons I preferred to shrink back and stay behind closed doors. 

So hear I am, confessing upon a screen that others will read. Yes, I’m insecure in so many areas—as a wife, as a mom, as a pastor, as a singer and worship leader, as a speaker. His calling, however, has won the battle. You cannot turn down something that is engraved upon your heart at the age of thirteen. 

I invite you to follow my blog that I plan to update weekly. A new area of ministry will be monthly podcasts. God has been stirring something so deep in my heart that will do me no justice if I keep it all to myself. I am simply a messenger and His word will come through blogpost, podcast, speaking engagements, and music. Thank you in advance for reading and listening. I pray His word challenges you to go deeper, to fight your own insecurities, and to be fully set free as the women and men of God He destined you to be.